Hi Debate Fans!

Vice Presidential debate viewers were treated to a raucous & bawdy ninety minute political cage fight last night. I for one was not disappointed. I imagined viewers ahead of the fight downing Five-Hour-Energy, hoping to peak their prurient interests at the opening bell, then leaning forward at the edge of their seats throwing air-punches as the titans-of-talk duked it out. At the end, all that was missing was each side’s prep team rushing the stage and hoisting their sweaty battered man above their heads whooping it up with victory cheers while parading him around like a closing scene from any Rocky movie.

The pre-casting was classic- Biden as the wily aged master-grappler begging “put me in coach” in the aftermath of his hero’s crushing upset days before, and Ryan as young Luke Skywalker, brandishing his newly minted light–saber to fight the Dark Side.

I must admit that my guess’s about tenor and tactics ahead of the opening bell were not correct…I didn’t think think we’d be watching Masterpiece Theater, but I didn’t foresee a public rehearsal for this coming weekend’s most cringeworthy Saturday Night Live skit.

Each side’s candid thoughts about the outcome will have to be consigned to the realm of the unknowable given the outrageous stakes and obvious bias. I think we witnessed a draw, but context for this conclusion is important. We have to remember that this gladiator spectacle was not produced for the true believers, rather, it was choreographed and staged for the undecided’s & independents (U&I’s). I now digress for a brief rant on U&I’s.

…I’d like to see a bunch of these self-proclaimed hand-wringers verbally rubber-hosed by a debate moderator until they spill what has them so confused less than three weeks ahead of the election. In an election replete with vivid differences on policy, practice, philosophy and character, the U&I is effectively stating “I watch the candidates and they all make so much sense that it’s tough to decide who to vote for”. Who are these idiots? It reminds me of the classic trope of cognitive dissonance…someone stating- “I feel strongly both ways”. So, and I know that this is a big leap, I want to believe there can’t be this many complete numbskulls turning out to vote (sadly I know the truth). Since I practice my own brand of self-deception, I deny that roughly 10% of the citizenry are this rudderless and ill-informed, there must be wolves among the sheep. Here’s the dirty little secret of most of the publicly self-procalimed U&I’s…while they publicly wear the U&I label for status, they are in fact disguised true believers- Why do they do this? Simple- by announcing U&I status, they claim the intellectual and moral high-ground. “I’m serious, fair, open-minded, thoughtful, intellectually curious” etc. In fact, for the impostors it is a way of donning the cape of intellectual and moral superiority, waving and hand and making a disgusted face while dismissing contrary points of view as “uninformed, racist, elitist” etc, while all the time pulling a virtual straight ticket handle when the curtain closes and secrecy abounds. Strip these charlatans out of the swing-voting equation.

It is worth focusing on the reduced sub-set- the true U&I’s, because a really close election may swing on their truly fickle decisions. Each watched the debate hoping for an “A-HA” moment. A portion of them probably saw Ryan last night for the first time in a substantive non-campaign speech setting; some would have been impressed with his calm demeanor and command of facts. Others would have been assured that Biden is a tough, seasoned, trust-worthy wise sage convincing them that the country is on a one-way trip to the middle-class renaissance, and you don’t pull your prize pitcher in the middle of a no-hitter. Since the true sub-set of “real” U&I’s is so small now, and decreasing rapidly as each day to the election is crossed off the calendar, it is no surprise that the public polls are shifting toward reality- a neck-and-neck race. With no clear winner last night, recent momentum would seem to favor Romney/Ryan. Our country is now debate-obsessed since superman tripped on his cape. The next two debates will settle the question. Will the hero of the down-trodden get his mojo back and pull the mask off of the super-villain during one of the fight scenes, exposing the acid-scarred pasty white face with the permanent snarl? Can’t wait to see.

Do me a favor, when you run into someone who claims U&I status, ask them two questions: first, if I put you on a lie detector, would it be revealed that you actually have a practical record of overwhelmingly favoring one political party over another even though you claim U&I status?…and two, if the answer to question one is no, what in hell are you still confused about?

LW