A collision occurred this morning between fond thoughts of our family trip to Italy this past Christmas, and the fine print of the GOP blueprint for immigration reform released yesterday.

During our trip, we experienced Italy’s newest insult to visitors.  As one romps about Italy, a daily government fee is imposed and collected by the hotels.  It’s nominal, but imagine how the money adds up based on millions of visitors per day.  The offered explanation is that the fee off-sets the burden of tourist costs on the city.

I had a pretty good laugh at that one as I peeled endless Euros off my travel bankroll while “burdening” the host cities.  Somehow I couldn’t make the mental leap that we were costing them money during our visit.   Imagine a toilet paper roll hanging from my pants belt, but with tear-off Euro notes instead of Tee-Pee.  I couldn’t turn a corner without feeling the tug on my pants.  Bear with me as I connect the dots between Italy’s newest tax and US immigration reform.

Yesterday, during an annual planning retreat, the GOP inauspiciously unveiled its blueprint for wholesale immigration system reform.  The GOP is convinced that this legislation will forever re-define their party as welcoming but tough…their new party moniker- “Sweet & Sour”…a paean to the hoard of Asian immigrants who until now overwhelming vote Democrat once inducted into US citizenship.  Speaker of the House John Boehner boldly asserts that it is a stepped legislative roll-out beginning with border security.  Please track down the release and read it.  The proposed border security provisions establish an entry and exit system, guards the gates, and enforce immigration control.  The bad news is that it is just words, and even worse, true enforcement will further bloat the colossus that is the Department of Homeland Security.  The proposal includes an Entry/Exit Visa system.

Italy’s- Tax The Tourists scheme inspires a bold and new approach that must be included in the new US Visa system.  I call it VTWFP- Visitor & Temporary Worker Fee Program.  It is pronounced- Vee-Twiff-Pah

OK…I know the name sucks.  Whichever US Government department, division, bureau, agency or other slice of Federal bureaucracy is in charge of clever multi-lettered abbreviations (MLA’s) will have to invent a better one than “Vee-Twiff-Pah” so it rolls off the lips so smoothly that each visitor delights as they take part in such a fantastic invention.

Here’s how it works.  First, Uncle Sugar has to conduct the usual multi-hundred-million dollar study to determine the total annual costs associated with tracking down and expelling Visa violators. No “small-ball” here…pork it up.  Make it fat…don’t forget the trickle down costs at the State and Municipal levels for scoundrels over-staying their visas.  The costs of those entering the country illegally by inner-tube, submarine, cargo-trailer, desert hiking adventure, rock & wall climbing excursion and all other surreptitious means must also be factored in. Then divide the total annual cost by the predicted number of annual visas.

The result is the individual VTWFP fee.  As part of your visit to the US, you simply pay the fee when you apply for a visa.  In effect we would then have a self-funding tracking and deportation system for non-citizen law-breakers.

Now here is where we can get really creative so the program is fun and profitable.  This is where Italy got it wrong.  In the land of the Great White Satan, Corporate sponsorship of your VTWFP charge should be featured.  Imagine the possibilities.  Let’s say your VTWFP charge is $75, and you’re planning your itinerary.  As you peruse the infinite possibilities from Disney World to Times Square, Honolulu to Hilton Head, you will be treated to companies of every sort offering VTWFP refunds if you do business with them.   Rental Cars, Hotels, Restaurants, Touring companies, Theme Parks, Golf Courses, etc…With a little imagination and some entrepreneurship, we could make this a win-win.  Thanks Italy!!!